Pearl Harbor Commentary
by Ms.Schuler Bub
Summary: What a funny commentary of Pearl Harbor would be like with your favorite characters!


A/N: Uh oh I'm baaaaaack! You may not recognize me cuz I changed my pen name again. Anyway.this story is based on my experiences with DVD commentary. It is what I think would be funny if all the PH actors did the commentary with Mr. Bay.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them! Boo hoo.  
  
Imagine that you're watching the movie but it's not as long.  
  
Michael Bay: Hello and welcome to our audio commentary, today we have producer Jerry Bruckheimer, writer Randall Wallace, and actors Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, and Josh Hartnett.  
  
Ben: Hello  
  
Josh: Hey, hey, hey!  
  
Kate: Yeah I know you all want my autograph but this is a recording and I can't see you.  
  
Ben: Wait your British?  
  
Josh: No she's Australian!  
  
Kate rolls her eyes.  
  
Michael: so in this scene we were trying to capture Rafe and Danny's friendship at an early age.  
  
Ben: Really, I never noticed.  
  
Josh: That's cuz you never watched it cuz you weren't in it.  
  
Ben: So?  
  
* LONG PAUSE*  
  
Ben: Here's the good part!!  
  
Josh: I know there I am!  
  
Ben: Never mind it sucks!  
  
Josh: Fuck you man.  
  
Jerry: This movie is rated PG-13 Josh.  
  
Josh: Oh yeah, sorry!  
  
* LONG PAUSE *  
  
Ben: So this is where I randomly come in with a pointless story about nothing until somebody *under breath* Kevin Smith *normal* interrupts it with some story about Walt Flannagan.  
  
Kate: Whose Walt Flannagan?  
  
Josh: I heard he had a mean dog.  
  
* LONG PAUSE *  
  
Randall: So when I wrote this scene I was trying to let the audience know that Rafe and Evelyn were in love.  
  
Ben: Yeah I remember this scene and I know that Randall actually asked me to write it for him.  
  
Randall: No?  
  
Ben: Damnit it worked on the other guys!  
  
Kate: Can somebody shut him up?  
  
Josh: Is it time to go yet?  
  
* LONG PAUSE *  
  
Ben: I remember that I did a lot of mad libs in this scene and that you told me to stop.but I still see that some of them are still in.  
  
Michael: What are you talking about?  
  
Ben: Well look I just smiled.that wasn't in the script.  
  
Josh: My mom said when I was a baby when I had gas I smiled.  
  
Ben: Anyway.did you see Chasing Amy? The part when I dance was all my choreography!  
  
Josh: I know that dance!  
  
Josh stands up and does it perfectly.  
  
Kate: And people wonder why I don't date Americans?  
  
* LONG PAUSE *  
  
Josh: Hey Ben remember when we shot this scene and we were off camera giving Kate funny faces and she blew up at us and started beating us?  
  
Ben: No.  
  
Kate: That never happened Josh.  
  
Josh: Oh wait that was a different movie that has 3 main characters being two guys and a girl and I end up alone.  
  
Ben: Shall I break in with a random story?  
  
All: NO!  
  
Ben: Well anyway, before we were filming this we had that boot camp thing and man was that a bitch! I mean they had us scrubing toilets and eating shit from a bag and running I mean people said that I was built like a brick house then.look at me now!  
  
Jerry: So?  
  
* LONG PAUSE *  
  
Kate: these special effects were amazing!  
  
Michael: Well you know me and Jerry always having those elaborate special effects.Just look at Armag- bad idea!"  
  
Ben: I remember while making Armageddon I decided to go take off time for the Chasing Amy commentary. That was so much better then this cuz they gave us snacks!  
  
Kate: I'm beginning to understand why.  
  
Josh: I like the part with my close up.  
  
Michael: Yes many girls think you sexy.  
  
Ben: I think you're cheesy.  
  
Josh: I like cheese!  
  
* LONG PAUSE *  
  
Jerry: I remember we were actually nervous about casting Ben because he was rumored of having a potty mouth. Yeah, by um Jim Jacks.  
  
Ben: Hey we're not talking about Jim Jacks cuz he ruined MallRats!  
  
Kate: They didn't need him to do that, I think it was already a lost cause.  
  
Josh: I remember that movie! But that guy from fashionably male was big and mean and scary!  
  
Ben: That was me.  
  
Josh: *laughing hysterically* Yeah.right!  
  
* LONG PAUSE *  
  
Michael: So now that this movie is almost over.final thoughts?  
  
Jerry: Kaboom! Awesome  
  
Randall: Bloody, messy, gore! Excellent  
  
Josh: Purple Bunnies! The greatest movie of all time.  
  
Kate: My performance was excellent, and my accent was amazing! The other actors.well.they could have done better.  
  
Ben: Well you know my name was on the top of all the posters and I got a lot of press and.uh.I .think that.um... ah it was a great experience.mm.and.ah.the movie.well.the movie uh had a serious message.um.compared to.uh.most movies that I've done.and.uh.there weren't any rubber poop monsters.and uh.well.you know.it was cool.  
  
Michael: Um thank you.I think?  
  
REMINDER: THIS IS NOT WHAT THE ACTORS ARE LIKE.BUT BEN IS COMPARED TO HIS COMMENTARY TRACKS OF MALLRATS, CHASING AMY, AND DOGMA BUT THAT STILL ISN'T FULLY HIM.  
  
Aka: don't take this seriously! 


End file.
